A few years ago, maybe only 2, I decided this, to my weary husband’s delight. If what I wanted to do for Christmas could not be accomplished peacefully, between Thanksgiving and Christmas, then it would not be done. It’s kind of radical, I know. But I’m finding it freeing.
While most of the stores around us added fake snow flecked trees, mechanical Santas, and gobs of red and green candles to their Halloween decor, we just purchased pumpkins, and got our costumes together. When November came, and Christmas plastic went disgustingly overboard, we thought about giving thanks, and what pies we might bake. Put some leaves in little vases on the mantel, and raked, and raked and raked. And now, Thanksgiving is passed, and it’s time to think Christmas.
True, there is a real argument that actually leaving Christmas to Christmas can cause untold amounts of brain paralyzing angst. Why, it is indeed difficult to cram the typical lists of tasks into a mere 3.5 weeks. What, with the card making, picture taking, family update letter writing, card list compiling, in the P.O. line standing, whole house decorating, deep cleaning, scads of baking, multiple party hosting, school party cookie taking, children’s card creating, toy buying, budget busting, stress piling, volunteering, family negotiating, classic movie watching, holiday outfit purchasing, and whatnot, it leaves very little time to sleep. And forget about actually enjoying the fruits of all this manic labor. So what’s a Christmas to be?
Miss Glamore over at her Tiny Kingdom started the season with an excellent post. She’s compiling stuff from her house and yard, and setting her children lose. Yes, she admits, there is a mess, but it’s inexpenive, and all about family. If that’s not a big part of Christmas, what then, is? Martha may have a siezure from lack of symmetry, but is the point perfect poinsettia proportions upon the mantel?
The retail stores start that madness of early Ho Ho Ho to sell, sell, sell. We’re wandering around in the crisp of autumn, minding our own business, and blam! Oh holy freaking crap! It’s almost Christmas! Hurry Hurry Hurry! Shop Shop Shop! Time to get the annual ulcer and have a happy freaking holiday. Why? Because retailers and professional event planners with staffs of 42 tell us this is the way to do it, to have the most wonderful memories, and make ourselves and everyone around us, happy. And they’ll make more money, money, money. If the halls are appropriately decked, all will be well within our little universes. And if we capture the most flattering picture of our family, the perfect impression will be given to friends all over the country. We have it all under control and are loving every minute of it.
Our children see reams of advertising, selling everything but what Christmas really is. It becomes everything unreal, untrue. Families are often willing to go into crippling debt to please their children, feeling this is what will be good for them, will make them happy. The best gift we can give our children is to teach them that we don’t get everything we want. That time together and relationships are part of the foundation that will carry them into their futures. And that this season especially, is about learning to think of others, before ourselves.
By no means do we do it all perfectly, but we are trying to make some adjustments. We’ve largely dropped doing cards, because of the brain damage it was giving me to get all the children clean, dressed and together, and then actually capture something I’d send out. I was spending hours at night writing personal notes, because I thought that said more than a typed “newsletter”. For us, it just isn’t worth it right now, but may be again some day. Our shopping has been reduced to just immediate family. We called a toy truce with freinds, all agreeing the gift wasn’t needed to prove we love each other, and that our children get plenty already. From Mom and Dad, there are only 3 gifts per child, based on an idea my aunt gave us, that the infant Jesus was presented with only 3, based on the only recorded history we have about that event, in the Bible. We just told the children, if it was enough for Jesus, then it’s enough for you! And since we started it early, they’ve never questioned it. We try to have a family project that is giving to someone else, but do not always pull it off. I’ve learned to let this go, too, feeling we can just keep trying, and that people have needs all year with which we can help, not just at Christmas. And for me, reducing the amount of holly, garland, mistletoe and fat red bows has helped. I do not turn the entire home into a Christmas post card. We do a tree, some lights, something on the mantel, and maybe table. I don’t bake 14 different things, but try to do one or two, and just maybe more of it. We may deliver it to neighbors. Primarily, it’s just about prioritizing what we really want to do, how we want this season to be, and letting the rest go.
If I could get down to it’s core, I would say what I want to leave the children with is this. Christmas is not after-Thanksgiving Day sales. Or plastic Santas. Or the gifts we get. Or the tree. And it’s not about getting so wrapped up in the superficial aspects, that we forget the original intent, and can’t see straight from exhaustion come December 26. It is about being able to slow down enough, actually, to remember our greatest gift. It is about That in those days, it came to pass, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with Child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes, and laid Him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the LORD came upon them, and the glory of the LORD shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the LORD. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the Babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.
Luke 2, 1-14, King James Version
