disclaimer: The author will use this little event in her life for fun-poking, superficial complaint making, and creative lisence taking if necessary. The author in no way condones the actual wallowing in of one’s minor inconveniences, or the supposition that one’s problems are the “worst they can be”, or the whining of “woe is me”. Not all fact or fiction here is necessarily the expressed opinion of said author, and therefore cannot be used against her. The author chooses to use this fodder for meager attempts at humour, not as a sincere effort to express any real pain or frustration. All people involved are used without their personal consent, including and especially the Duke Power dude, all neighbors, children, spouse and dog. None were hurt during this accounting, except maybe the dog, who really hated his coat, and possibly the children, who had to go without Cartoon Network, and as of the beginning of this account, are still suffering therewith.
(One of two pics to be any good in the dark, Blue Boy staying warm)
I thought about how to record this. Day to day? Hour to hour? And then I thought about the fact that the last few days until this afternoon when we were “restored” have been very much a blur. So maybe I’d just hit hightlights, in any order I can recall them. We’ve had a lot of wine to, um, stay warm. I’ll do my best.
1. I freaked over losing my internet access.
2. I freaked over losing my internet access.
3. I freaked over losing my internet access.
4. It was cold.
5. It was really cold.
6. I knew it could be worse, but we were really cold.
7. The first day was kind of campy. The second was not so.
8. It got dark early.
9. I learned how to make a really smoking (no pun intended) fire.
10. I learned you have to thaw out iced fire wood to get said smoking fire.
11. I learned a system of how to keep this smoking fire smoking for hours and days at a time.
12. I learned a billows is better than passing out trying to oxygenate the fire via my breath.
13. I learned it takes approximately 27 minutes of oxygenating the fire via my breath to pass out.
14. I learned certain meats last longer in a non cooling fridge than one would think.
15. I learned what really bad milk smells like.
16. I learned how to make bagels in an iron skillet.
17. I learned I like to eat out when the power’s out.
18. I thought of people who don’t even have a bed at night.
19. I thought of the fact that we’d have power, and food, and warmth, and luxuries soon, again.
20. I learned the children are much better behaved without media than with. Go figure.
21. I discovered it can be fun to be cold, but by the fire, playing a game with your family.
22. I learned my hair can go about 4 days without washing before I absolutely must wear a hat.
23. I discovered not every one considers hot rollers a necessity. What?
24. I discovered a dog can shiver.
25. I saw that a shivering dog can hate his Old Navy coat. And figure out how to get out of it no matter how we attached it to him.
26. I saw that children can get anxious the first 24 hours without Cartoon Network.
27. We’re considering getting rid of all media, save my laptop of course. But probably won’t.
28. I saw my husband can think totally on the fly, and save my favorite dogwood despite the icy odds.
29. I learned that without one drop of sweat, I can indeed wear the same shirt for three days and nights in a row, with no adverse odor.
30. I found out that Duke Power has hired a dude that actually spoke kindly to me, and told me the potential dangers of connecting a generator to our home, alone.
31. I also met the men from North Carolina, that have worked 36 hour shifts since we all lost power, to get us reconnected. And they were nice.
32. I was made coffee by a neighbor I’d never had coffee with before.
33. She let me dry my hair at her home, too. Good friend.
34. I found my son is a great wood hauler, and my daughter a great fire watcher. And my youngest son, a great try to burn the house downer.
35. Candles are romantic, even if you’re freezing.
36. If you leave the house all day, and don’t stoke the fire, you will freeze your ass off all night.
37. Total Wine in Greenville is a great way to pass a power outage.
38. So is Bob Evans Restaraunt.
39. I figured if you’re burning that many calories not freezing to death, you can eat biscuits and gravy.
40. Kids start to stink after 5 or 6 days of wearing the same underwear.
41. Gerbils can hibernate very well, and will bite you if you try to unhibernate them.
42. Blog traffic drops gravely if you suddenly don’t post for 5 days in a row.
43. And I’m more concerned about this than I’d like to admit.
44. It can be warmer outside than in.
45. Husbands start to stink after 2-3 days of wearing the same underwear.
46. Nookie in 39 degree temps doesn’t really get/keep you warm. It’s a myth.
47. Husbands will tell you nookie in 39 degree temps will get/keep you warm.
48. Freezing temps can make you cranky.
49. I don’t look so great in a toboggan hat.
50. Layers are not slimming.
51. Unless you’re 7.
52. I learned how to reheat pizza in an iron skillet over my smoking fire.
53. I know now I like living in a modern age.
54. I’m sort of embarrased at how quickly south’ners shut down in inclement weather.
55. I couldn’t find one pair of matching gloves.
56. Our children are cute in cold weather gear.
57. It never even accumulated 0n the roads.
58. I’m tired, and am going to bed. Thank you God, that it’s warm.
(The only other pic, showing the dog in his coat, not so happy, but warmer.)
