Geronimo!

and thank you, Karin, who let me know this:

I realize there are a lot of blogs out there and it’s hard to keep track, but if you’re new, sometimes it’s best to sit back and explore the blogging world before you jump in with new ideas so as not to step on other’s toes. Bloggers are very good at protecting their friends. And I would certainly have to agree that it sounds fun, because it is fun! It’s just already being done. Hope you’ll join us.

Sit back and wait through like, 50 million blogs? What? Do I have, do you have, nothing else to do with your day than sit around combing through blogs to make sure you never duplicated one single idea, ever? Protection? Protection from what? And fun? If this is fun, I’d rather pluck my eyeballs out. And no, I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll be joining in. But the link is up there, if any body who should happen to stumble in here would like to. Just make sure you know whose idea it is. I googled “Flashback Friday”, and stopped counting references after like, 210, 000. Everything from “The Jesus and Mary Chain”, to a site called “blackfolk”, to some radio’s segment on Aretha Franklin, to Newsday.com replaying 80s hits…that phrase is definitely not copyrighted by bloggers alone. Especially not one blogger. I tell you what. Tonight’s disappointing exchange has been revolutionary. Never knew I’d get such a great early Christmas present. As I sit here with my husband, we suddenly, together realized, this is complete sh*t. I never meant to sign up for some ridiculous popularity contest. I never meant to give half my day to making sure I make the rounds to insure my traffic flow. I never meant to suddenly find myself so freakin wrapped up in what anyone else out there thought about what I was doing. Especially if they thought the phrase “Flashback Friday” was their own. I just wanted to write. I thought it’d be cool to meet some other women to share a bit of life with. What was a perfect opportunity for a great forum for people to share their lives has turned into a time sucking black hole. At least, much of what I’ve seen has been this way.

I’ve talked with a few great women. You know who you are. I hope to continue talking with you, through this, or by phone. But suddenly, Theresa has brought it to me so clearly, that this is not what I want to be a part of. What I hoped to enjoy has become a source of anxiety. Corndog said earlier today that he needs a break. That he had to decide whether this venture was for his good, or detriment. And I knew what he meant. I’ve had this thought niggling in the back of my brain since my children said, “No Mommy, don’t hook the computer back up!”, when our power was restored. If not before. I want to do this. But I don’t want to do it this way.

The writing doesn’t take much time. And the writing is what I want to do. What bogs me down is making sure I leave my mark with everyone. That effort is what takes the time. And I love to visit some blogs, and want to continue to do so. You, R2K, know I’ll keep coming around. And Krista, Jen, and Holly, and SmockMama, and KLee, many others. And my family and analog friends, who might like to see how the kids have gorwn. But. I’m going to remove my blogroll. Maybe my comments section. Just make it about writing for me. Because that’s all I really want to do. So that’s what I’ll concentrate on. If you feel like it, keep up what we’ve started through direct email. I’m here.

I won’t leave yet. Not that anyone’s holding their breath. But just for those who happen to check in. We, Blake and I, didn’t know it was a committment that had any outside forces at all. Just an outlet to do what I like. We’d like the blogroll not to dictate when we get to hang out, or when our children get my attention. So, thanks Theresa. You just clarified what has been wrong all along, and I just couldn’t see it, yet.

I’ll keep writing, even if anyone’s not reading. Because I like it.

this was for fun. Apparently, I may be very wrong. As tonight, this is an email/comment I received on this Flashback Friday idea. When I was informed, as can be seen in my comments section, that I may be stepping on some toes, as below:

Karin at HeartSongs (http://three-part-harmony.com/heartsongs/) started the original Flashback Friday quite some time ago. I’m sure she’d have no problem with you participating, but if I were her, I wouldn’t be real pleased to see someone else claiming my idea as their own. Just saying…

I responded honestly that this just came to me, that I’m new to this, and have never seen this person or her site. And that I would contact the potential “originator” of said idea. And then received this:

Well Allison, to some it is a game, and to others it is a hobby. Please, do visit her and inform her that you intend to take her idea and pass it off as something you just happened to think of months after she did. Should you decide to do your own version of Thursday 13 as well, I’m sure the blogger who created the idea will be equally as pleased. It is not a competition, but you will find, since you are new to this hobby, that bloggers tend to take something called a copyright very seriously when it applies to their creative writing ideas.

Merry Christmas to you and yours as well.

I just want to say that I’m here for fun. That whatever has “happened” to occur to me, actually has, and that I do indeed, credit Miss Leanne with all her Thursday 13 fun-ness. I link right up to her, and mention her frequently. No attempt to steal here. I like participating in all this stuff, and would love to have others hang with me as I walk through this new “hobby”. I see it all as a great outlet for women, everywhere, no matter what their backgrounds, age, history, race, religion. We can have a voice. We can meet others. And in theory, I sure thought it was about support, and fun. Not copywriting infringement and “rights”. Why do I suddenly have an urge to slam my locker closed and tell my best girlfriends not to talk to her anymore? Is this highschool? Or is it a fantastic forum for women to get to know eachother and share a bit of life…oh! Do I hear the bell? I might be late for our quiz in bio today…gotto make sure I make that!

I would love good, fun traffic. I would love “popularity” in this funny blog world. I won’t pretend that’s not fun. But this stuff? I left it behind 20 years ago, and hoped most of us did, as well. And Leanne? I love your idea, and that you offer a great idea to link up to. What is wrong with sharing the ideas? Sharing the traffic? Sharing the fun, whether it be game, hobby or much needed outlet?

What I thought was a place to share what I feel, to be excited that people may read what I feel, to vent my wannabe writer-ness, seems to have become a slanted sorority of sorts, like the clique of girls I simultaneously loathed and longed to be, when I was 16. More than half my lifetime ago. Certain blogs seem to be able to dictate what the rest of us do. Suddenly, silly silly ideas like a Flashback Friday becomes proprietary rights. What? Is this something revolutionary no one else could have thought of? Are we kidding ourselves? Is there money changing hands that I don’t know about? We’re not putting food on the table here, we’re playing, or sharing. Or we would like to kindle some relationship, even if we may never meet in person. Moreena’s participation in this blog stuff has garnered her blood donors, gift givers and life time supporters for her very sick little girl. Running2ks has been blessed to visit her, and donate blood herself…many of you out there have participated in this walk with Moreena. And not turned this into some sort of infantile popularity contest.

If it means I have to take sides, worry about “stealing” copyrights (about which I would never care, this is pretty public afterall), or contacting any of the 50 some odd million people out there with blogs to make sure I didn’t duplicate one of their ideas, just to have an outlet I love, then I quit. I have been proved that this is all false. Just stupid. I’ll just open a Word document and type away til my heart’s content. I hoped I’d finally found a spot that didn’t run like middle school cheerleaders. Maybe I was wrong.

Come on, show a little love. Jump in with me. Get ready for something to post tomorrow. Because my children are already in Atlanta today, and because I’m blissfully lounging around with little else to do. And because tomorrow will be busy prepping for Christmas Day, I’m jumping off my new little baby idea for Flashback Friday.

The idea: Join in with a photo, essay, description of photo, or any combination of these. You don’t have to have a photo. You don’t have to write anything about it. Just post something that is some sort of memory to you, recent or faaaaar back. A grandparent. A baby. A baby’s birth. A bad haircut, outfit, or piece of furniture. You. Your spouse. Your spouse’s favorite undies. Or yours (just don’t be in them, might cause a stir). Shoes, foods, drinks, kitchen utensils. Stories of joy, humour, breakup, anger, birth, friendship. It doesn’t matter. Just show and tell us.

Step 2: Leave me your link in my comments. Or at least, I think that’s how it’ll work. If more than 3 of us participate, I’ll try to figure out some code to cut and paste…something nifty (yep, I just said nifty), like Leanne for Thursday 13. So, we can just have a little fun, and get some more scoop on each of us that jump in.

OK, here’s mine, a day early. In honor of my boy, our first boy, I’m posting these:

In 7 days, he will be 10. I’m feeling very sentimental about it all. A decade. From baby to big boy, almost adolescent. Me. From a naive, restless 25 to a more comfortable, content 35. I can’t help but mull over all that’s happened in that time, his little sister and brother that followed. Sometimes, I can almost remember the feel of him tiny in my arms again, but when he hugs me now, he’s only a head shorter. And he doesn’t smell as sweet. But his heart is awesome.

The first shot is nearly Jake’s first breath in this world, and the second, now. My boy.

Once again, I’m following along at Running2ks heels…she does this every Thursday, so who am I not to join in with great gusto?

1. I’m so thankful to have heat when it’s cold.
2. I love that my dear friend, Wren, left me yummy yummy homemade sweet rolls yesterday, at my doorstep.
3. I am tremendously digging the quiet in my home, with all three children at their grandparents again.
4. I’m eternally thankful for grandparents who will take all three children.
5. I’m thankful that my husband works so hard for our family, and that we are blessed to have the job we have.
6. I’m really thankful for my husband, period.
7. I’m thrilled someone thought up antidepressants.
8. And for this, I’m sure my husband is too.
9. I’m blessed by a God who gave me this family.
10. And that he came to earth, for us, all those years ago.
11. I’m thankful for coffee.
12. And for friends I may never see in person, but support me through cyber-space.
13. And for the outlet that is this laptop, and the weird thing called blogging.