Geronimo!

The Queen of Spain stopped by sometime, looks like early this morning (what were you doing up so late? Trouble sleeping? I was up at 4 myself) and had some very interesting points on my previous post. I started to just leave a comment back to her, in an effort to elaborate, but instead, found myself writing another post. I hope, Ms. Queen, it is OK with you that I copy your comment here, and go on with this vein this morning. Looks like we may hold (respectfully, of course) some different ideas on this part of our culture, and inviting others into the fray may get my traffic boosted prove educational.

The Queen wrote:

I think everyone wants love.
I think everyone would agree that commitments should be honored.
But I have to ask…how much do you really know about any of these people? What you see on Oprah? Or at the checkout counter? We don’t know the real stories, or the real lives of ANYone of the couples you mentioned. It may have looked like husband stealing. But do we really know what went on? I think what is worse than a society that appears to not honor it’s commitments, is a society that looks up to and is interested in a very small group of people in a fictional place called “Hollywood.”
I’ve interviewed and personally met many of these people. And I can promise you, nothing is what you think it is.

I also think children can thrive in a one parent household. I, myself, would have happily adopted or otherwise had I never married. I also think you have to account for the fact that man is an animal. And some of those animals are just not meant to be managomous. Sex drives. Procreation drives. And while some of us seem to have crawled out of the sludge, there will always be a part of our population that can’t seem to rid themselves of their primal instincts. I don’t think those celebrities are asking if you approve. Nor do you have any real idea what led them to the place they are at. By suggesting that they are examples…simply for staring in films, or recording a song…is absurd.
…great post. Lots to think about here.

and I began to reply:

Hey Ms. Queen! Primarily, I am discouraged by this apparent worship of the “famous and beautiful”. People are going to do their own thing, and we’re not always going to agree with it. But this culture is obsessed with the gory details of these people. I find it sad. And you are right, we (or at least I) do not know the real inside scoop. Except they were all at my house the other week and told me. No. Not really. I am sure they don’t care if I approve at all. They’d find me quite pedestrian, and absurdly conventional. Fine with me. And they most likely didn’t ever think their daily poops would end up in the grocery check out mag rack when they started their careers. However. I feel that no matter how public or non-public a life is, we owe each other as much as we can muster. Which seemingly for some of us, may not be much. We don’t operate in a vacuum. Each choice of each person on this planet, in my humble and often ill-informed opinion, causes a ripple effect that reaches out for miles and miles. Right down to one of my children, or yours, one day. And when they read that stuff in the grocery check out, right there at eye level for them to see, it adds to who they are and who they may become, if ever so slightly. No matter whay I say, or how I explain, they’ve seen that so-n-so just cheated on so-n-so with 2 guys at some bar in NY, complete with mostly naked picture, and now spouse is yelling divorce, or going cheat, too, or did, or whatever. Is all this true? Probably not, or at least not entirely. But as you stated, our worship of this tiny, fictional corner of society puts it all out there for all to see, and for children, to ingest. I’m sure it’s a 2 way street. They live publicly. The public craves the details on Britney’s latest antics at a bar with her newborn. Poof. Front page rumors. On something that if you or I ever did, we couldn’t pay someone to care about. Or could we? Now that’s idea for some extra cash…

And on the state of man in general. I respect your opinion here. I disagree with the assumption that some of man just can’t keep it in their pants (or keep their skirts down), because we are man. But I understand what you state. For me, and this most assuredly has much to do with my faith (Which I understand you not to share? Again, respected differences.), all of man has the ability to be better, to distance themselves from the rest of the animal kingdom. Clearly some don’t choose to, but they could. I agree when you say some just won’t pass primal. What gives us the possibility of soaring higher than my dog is the ability to say no to the primal. According to my beliefs, man is created to be able to rise above these urges. So I expect more. I want more. I can’t ask it of those who don’t adopt my faith, as they cannot be held accountable to a standard they don’t buy. But I don’t have to like what appears to be evidence of how they live. And Lord knows, I hope it’s not as bad as it often seems. Public persona or not. I could have the same gripe with my neighbor. They wouldn’t care, but I could have the gripe. And you are right. It certainly seems some of us just threw a slimy leg over the edge of land, and the behavior corresponds.

For me, adoption or insemination without being married wouldn’t have been an option. So clearly, I tie “family” up in a big traditional, preacher/rabbi blessed bow. But again, I know this is my take on things, and not everyone’s. And not yours, as you state. I only mention it here to further explain my perspective when I begin to contemplate the consequences of some of what seems to be happening in the world. I fully understand that my choices can’t be, would never be, those of each and every other soul on our planet, but I want to see traditional families. In my faith, (again, it’s mine, not yours or everyone else’s, so I’m not forcing it down unwilling throats, just talking from my bank of feelings), a mom and a dad are ideal. What a child needs. Can a family thrive without this ideal? I certainly think so. And know, like you do, many who do. But from this personal perspective, I will naturally feel a sadness, a disappointment, when I observe this ideal, my ideal, my opinion of God’s ideal (and I’m saying it clearly here, it’s my opinion of God’s ideal), not being able to be met. And I’m hoping and praying that our children are able to live, want to live, this ideal.

Alright, now I’ve gone on to rambling and making sure I cover the bases of not offending anyone ever with my opinions. Enough. Clearly I come from a pretty conventional, Christian perspective. Clearly, we all don’t. And I hope clearly, it is not being conveyed that I think less of anyone that doesn’t line up with me head to toe. So I’ll stop trying to make sure any one who ever stops by here could never ever be offended by my opinions. I think that corresponds with the silly little quote of the day at the top of this page. I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody (Bill Cosby). We just have to be true to who we are, who we’re called to be, and conduct that life with respect to others, no matter the differences. No need to apologize for that, but boy, I sure do try sometimes.